Gay guy who dont want to be gay
I … don’t for the life of me comprehend why the gay people has decided to emulate an institution that doesn’t work for even unbent people … It is laughable
This is what a 59-year-old black gay activist in Los Angeles told me of his views on same-sex marriage. He is typical of many older gay men who are bemused by the younger generation’s desire for marriage, reflecting the radically different experiences of those who grew up in far more restrictive and intolerant decades.
We know that generally older Australians are less supportive of gay marriage. In 2013, I interviewed a small international sample of men as part of my analyze on sexuality and ageing. Most of the men over 50 were dubious, if not opposed, to gay marriage, while most of those under 30 were supportive. While these results may not submit directly to Australia in 2017, they are indicative of a generational split between young and ancient gay men.
These older men have largely remained silent in the current queer marriage debate. I suspect this is because they do not want to be accused of betraying their own kind or exhibiting “internalised homophobia”, which for decades has been the accusation hurled a
5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Queer Man
Updated April 18, 2025
by Clinton Power, psychotherapist and Gay Therapy Center guest blogger
Unfortunately, struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation is common in the gay community despite the focus on love and relationships. Sometimes you might struggle with making connections at all, and other times you may experience “alone in a crowded room” because it’s so hard to forge real connections.
Let’s explore how you can constructively deal with feelings of loneliness and share a life you’re excited to live!
Why perform gay men get lonely?
Loneliness is, in some ways, part of the same-sex attracted experience. The prevalence of loneliness was significantly higher among adults who identified as gay (41.2%). Since everyone is assumed to be heterosexual, we all start out in the closet. The stress of not being out is emotional more than rational, but it takes its toll. Even before you came out to yourself, on some level you might have known you couldn’t fulfill expectations of a heterosexual life. You may have grown up feeling different and separated from the majority.
After you’re out of the closet, things don’t necessarily refine right away
Hi. I’m the Reply Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online planet, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, fancy a ghost in the machine.
I acquire some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to explore tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just favor me, The Retort Wall.
March 02, 2017
The Epidemic of
Gay LonelinessBy Michael Hobbes
I
“I used to get so ecstatic when the meth was all gone.”
This is my friend Jeremy.
“When you own it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh fine, I can go endorse to my life now.’ I would stay up all weekend and move to these sex parties and then feel love shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”
Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the precise circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here.
Jeremy is not the ally I was expecting to have this conversation with. Until a few weeks ago, I had no idea he used anything heavier than martinis. He is trim, intelligent, gluten-free, the kind of guy who wears a serve shirt no matter what day of the week it is. The first time we met, three years ago, he asked me if I knew a good place to do CrossFit. Today, when I ask him how the hospital’s been so far, the first thing he says is that there’s no Wi-F
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing serious and unrelenting challenge . It can produce you to question even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 examine published in the Journal of Sex Research found that among a team of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In instruct to have doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in young children, adolescents, and adults as good. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, set up that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden aggressive or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s control sexual identity might seem pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious form is where a sufferer experiences the consideration that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su