Younger gay tops for older gay bottoms
Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Queer Relationships
Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to homosexual men younger than themselves. If you are happy internet dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It’s like asking “Why do I select blondes over brunettes?” My advice is to let yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as long as they are over the age of 18).
Age gap relationships are more common than you may grasp. In western countries:
- 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
- that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
- and 15% of female/female relationships
That alike study indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more pledged to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some study that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can discover more details on these stats on this episode of the podcast I Love You Too, by Psychotherapist, Virtual dating Coach, Couples Counselor Jessica Engle,
I’m a 29-year-old lgbtq+ man living in California. Why are most tops such assholes? I contain had plenty of sexual partners ranging in age, ethnicity and expressed sexual orientation. But what unites them all is a general callousness toward bottoms or even a delight in the knowledge that it is they who get to “use and abuse” bottoms.
Is this a cultural artifact? I come across the notion of putting someone else in pain for my pleasure so repulsive that I have yet to top anyone. I’m starting to ponder that pleasurable sex is for tops alone, and bottoms are supposed to just shut up and take whatever they can fetch out of it. Help me square the messaging that bottoms are not as valuable as tops, and the nonchalance that accompanies the orgasm gap, especially in lgbtq+ sex.
Tell Me I’m Wrong
“I feel for this guy, I really do,” said Ty Mitchell, a gay porn celestial body and writer. “But where does he get off? No, really, where in his body? Because it doesn’t sound like he gets off on butt stuff, or even believes anal pleasure is real.”
Mitchell, whose handle on Instagram is “probottom,” definitely gets off on bottoming and other butt stuff, TMIW.
“Getting penetrated feels great for me, way excel th
Forced To Bottom: The Men Who Can’t Top Due To Erectile Dysfunction
“You’re not a real top.”
Those words may have been uttered to Alan many years ago. But they are words that he would never forget.
That night started out like most Grindr hook-ups. Horny after a stressful day at function, Alan was in necessitate of a release. A few taps and texts later, he found himself in the room of a cute twink.
Everything went smoothly at first. But when the time for foreplay was over, Alan couldn’t rise to the occasion. That was when the frustrated twink made the remark, ironically destroying any hope of Alan getting it up.
The hook-up soured pretty quickly soon after. Neither party managed to unload. And Alan left rather abruptly.
For the twink, it was merely a case of poor sex. But for Alan, that was the last time he ever tried to top.
Dear Straight People,
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition that affects millions of men worldwide, same-sex attracted men included.
Contrary to trendy belief, ED does not only affect older men. While its prevalence does tend to increase with age, ED affects men of all ages. The inability to sustain an erection can have many causes. But regardless of the
Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay gentleman whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.
Gass lost his first spouse, 28 years his senior, through the slowly declining effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he create love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively new man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older guy again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had ruined older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of entity attracted to older men.”
I began to study queer relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay, “Age as a Factor in Sexual Orientation and Attraction.” He wrote that in their discussion, some co
Types
Some gay men use types to describe, identify and communicate themselves. Who hasn't heard someone say “he’s my type" or been asked if a guy is yours? There is always some disagreement around the terms we employ and whether we should use them at all.
Therefore, you should be sensitive if applying a type to someone, bearing in mind some gay men reject them altogether as narrow, superficial, and demeaning. Equally, some use types affectionately and as a convenient shorthand.
It's a bit of a bear pit (no pun intended), but here's our take on types, though you are perfectly entitled to toss them out and be your own gay, your own homo, queer, etc.
Physical types and personal characteristics
Some guys are primarily attracted to physical types of gay men (eg: bears, twinks, and muscle guys) while some find characteristics in men most attractive (eg: warmth, intelligence, and humour). Others mix and match and understanding these distinctions is important.
For example, the type(s) of men we find attractive sexually may not necessarily be the qualities we are looking for to sustain a relationship. Trouble is, we can get so caught up in a type we can miss sight that not far bene